The Ugly Cry: Why I Will Miss Guatemala

I have long been back to Canada. Settling in and still unpacking my experiences.

Here is the journal entry, late at night, the last night in Guatemala.

Today has been a very tough day. Last time to Antigua, last time eating favourite foods, last time using a chicken bus, last time spending quality time with my new Guatemalan friends. A place I have grown in love with is well going to have to be left behind soon.

A bunch of lasts today.

A bunch of good-byes.

It is tough to say if I will return which makes this tough as well. Especially Jocelyn and Josue (my cute brother and sister...who are pulling Lassie's ears).

It was the kids at the construction site that caused me to ugly cry. It began like usual - playing. Although it rained very much (aka no futbal), we played and laughed at Melvin (Mel-bean - the child who was just playing by the fire in this photo), a crazy hilarious young boy. Then as supper time was approaching, Alejandra told me her abuela (grandma) wanted to see me. Then, the grandma hugged me and began to weep.

Through her muddled Spanish (because she was crying), she said that I have a special place in hers and the kids' hearts. Chon (the mom) echoed this and began to cry. I began crying when all the kids began to hug me and started to cry. I guess we had grown incredibly close through play and I will miss them greatly. I have never seen two ladies weep SO hard saying "pobrezito" (poor little thing).

They even gave me 7 snacks for the road. This expense is great to them - terrible feeling like I was taking the kids snack food for the next day - but it's a universal sign to me of their love. They wanted me to have a nice flight back to my family. They want me to stay but I cannot... I guess I gave them a piece of my heart, and they gave me a piece of theirs.

May I remember them - and learn to be generous and extravagant. They were with the little they had.

Then the worst part! "Hasta manana!" I realized this was the end of the last play session, the last time I would say this. I began to weep...and weep... and weep some more. I was in a full out ugly cry on my walk home - in the rain. (I was also laughing, because it was like some movie dramatics - sadness and rain.)

Goodbyes are tough.

Tomorrow will be tough too!

I'll miss Mariana and the familia mucho!

'Night (Ultima Vez)

Andres

P.S. The day we left, we said good-bye to probably 100 people in the village on the bridge. It was a big cry-fest too. My favourite part about Latin America is the value placed on relationships - may I foster relationships such as those here in Canada - caring, genuine and generous relationships. Relationships are number one there, and I want them to be number one back home too! May I place aside selfish ambitions and emphasize and live out the importance on relationships.

Relationships are what matter in life.